I bet he comes in French.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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