I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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