I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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