I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize