if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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