Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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