sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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