You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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