yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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