Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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