so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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