I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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