This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
