i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
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Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This toilet bowl is my home.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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