He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Go christen that room with your naked body.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
