Fuck appropriateness.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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