Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
