when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i came on her dog
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
