i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize