did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
