I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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