i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
