my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
