It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
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Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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