Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize