I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
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Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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