everyone is single if you try hard enough
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
