She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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