I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
