I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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