My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
ttyl tear gas
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
