he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
