i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
where does the pee come out of this thing
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
