my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
