Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
