I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
