At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
