Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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