Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
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I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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