hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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