Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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