doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
