I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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