R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
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Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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