I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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