May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize