im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Farmville is her only friend.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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