So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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