Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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