no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
