Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
