me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
