watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
