I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
