She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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