I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
