You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
