so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
