Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
