Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i've created a new STD.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
