bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
