Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
